ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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