it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
