i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
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Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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