Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize