Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Randomize
