I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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