A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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