I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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