it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
