i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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