my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
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I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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