Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
