i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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