I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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