remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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