So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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