how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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