that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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