You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
