Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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