Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
