it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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