Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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