you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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