Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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