lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
