your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
