1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
