Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
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