we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
