oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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