i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
