So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
