Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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