My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize