READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
