This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
