I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
