I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
