dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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