i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
