I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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