He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
