I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Randomize