Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
