we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
