going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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