remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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