I just gift wrapped bread.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
