that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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