At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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