she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
