I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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