the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
