Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Shame is for Republicans.
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