I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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