Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
