At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
