I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize