ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
