He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
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His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
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Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
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