just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
