I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I need to sanitize my soul.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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