I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize