She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
