I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I think people are normalizing furries
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
